Server: “This sparkling wine has received some barrel treatment.”

Diner to wife: “Honey, that means it saw barrel fermentation. In oak. You can just taste the total toastiness.”

“Since I really don’t eat much meat, I’m okay with fur.”

– Overheard by Sniffy Sniff

“The next time someone is being a huge wine snob, they ought to be made to stand in the wine aisle of CVS for three hours.”

We’ll be back on Monday, December 28th. Happy Holidays to you and yours–wishing you great wine and great times.

“A bike and a BB gun–and in our family, you’re set.”

“When you go over to someone’s house, and they open up sparkling wine, you always think, I must be special.”

“And that’s why you shouldn’t drink wine before promising anyone anything.”

“We had an outdoor toilet–and it was a two-seater.”

“They’re selling the 2002 like it’s a 2006. And other wineries already have the 2007 out.”

“A lot of winery owners think what is really special about their winery is that they own it. Yeah, that only really matters to their mom.”

– Overheard by Sniffy Sniff

“I don’t know much about Sonoma because I was born and raised in Napa Valley and I guess I don’t venture out much.”

Wife: “Should I continue on?”

Husband: “No.”

“Ya, you have that only child kind of thing.”

“Two farmworkers watch me pick avacados. I am legit.”

– Overheard by TBNT

Pinot Noir has a beet-y quality I really like. I mean, doesn’t this come on like a turnip?

Oh, those Sonoma winemakers.

“But what kind of Millennial can afford to buy a $100 bottle of wine?”

We would like to say to this Baby Boomer manager with the whiny voice and us-them philosophy and terrible haircut—we wouldn’t buy your $100 bottle. But we did buy a nice $75 one from the nice people making really nice wine. And they had good hair. Kisses.

“I’ve never had a Merlot like this before. But maybe it’s the cold meds talking.”

“I was totally into Julia before the whole Julia movie.”

“I mean, how many people really know how to read a wine list?”

– Overheard by Sniffy Sniff

It’s a wine snob week apparently.

“We don’t go tasting anywhere that simply allows the public to walk in.”

We’re taking a little time off for Thanksgiving. We’re grateful for our beautiful Wine Country, our families, our devoted readers. See ya next week.

“Yes, we make a single-vineyard Dry Creek Zinfandel. It’s very different.”

You and how many others? Cool.

“It about makes more sense to be a dentist first and then a winemaker.”

“This Champagne smells just like Starbucks!”

“Maybe it’s because I had sushi earlier, but this Cabernet is 100% American oak. It’s throwing all soy sauce aromas.”

“He was like a little jack-in-the-box, every time someone said ‘French wine’ he popped up and started talking.”

“You chugged that non-alcoholic beverage like a man.”

“I really don’t see anything wrong with a 1996 Cabernet Franc.”

“Well, I know all about the oak business. Fifteen years ago, I used to buy a few barrels from you guys.”

“I swear, that Bordeaux glass, it’s like drinking out of a tiki bowl.”

“I love having purple teeth. It’s like a badge of honor.”

“They get to the point where they think that any idea they have is a gift from God. And the higher you go, the more you start to think like that.”

– Overheard by Sniffy Sniff

“It’s all about choice. Personal choice. In wine and voting.”

“Yeah, that’s my family’s second winery.”

“It’s a tough, tough thing–when you’re talking both family and artistry in wine.”

– Overheard by Sniffy Sniff

“I taste grapefruit in every single Sauvignon Blanc I’ve ever had.”

And he’s damn proud of it too.

“Yeah, when he got his DUI, he knew both of the officers who pulled him over and then every single person at the county jail.”

Person 1: “I’ll be right back. I have to use the restroom.”

Person 2: “Uh-oh. They only have one room. And two people just went in there.”

Person 3: “Ohhhh. That was the guy who said it was his birthday.”

Good times.

“I don’t even know why you would marry someone who doesn’t drink wine.”

Shopper: “Excuse me, are these salmon wild?”

Butcher: “No, sir, but they are eco-farmed.”

Shopper: “Hmm. But do they live free?”

Butcher: “No, they’re farmed with a reference to the ecosystem. But they are happy and green.”

Shopper: “Hmm, no, thanks. I’ll have some of the tuna.”

“I love these wines. They’re so woodsy. I feel just like Bambi’s mom.”

“And that’s why the winery is for sale. Because he is a drug addict.”

Awkward.

“And it’s like, I have a convertible even.”

– Overheard by Sniffy Sniff

“I guess we’ll just have to have a bottle of the Rombauer now, then won’t we?”

We guess so.

“Oh, well, we rented out the castle.”

OH in a tasting room: “Well, I like Obama. But his wife? Uh-uh. I don’t trust her.”

“We said, oh shit, we’re going to go bankrupt.”

1970? 1992? 2001? 2008?

Manager 1: “What, are they running a smoke taint special this month?”

Manager 2: “He is sitting so fat and happy right now. You know, he’s probably setting wildfires up and down the state.”

Valley resident: “Aren’t you worrried about the rain and the grapes?”

Consulting winemaker: “I did my row checks, and nothing is ready to come in yet. I’ll just go back and look at everything after the storm.”

“Forget being a wine critic. I want to be a weed critic when I grow up.”

– Overheard by Dandelion