It’s All Who You Know

“Yeah, when he got his DUI, he knew both of the officers who pulled him over and then every single person at the county jail.”

You Say It’s Your Birthday

Person 1: “I’ll be right back. I have to use the restroom.”
Person 2: “Uh-oh. They only have one room. And two people just went in there.”
Person 3: “Ohhhh. That was the guy who said it was his birthday.”
Good times.

Love Knows No Bounds

“I don’t even know why you would marry someone who doesn’t drink wine.”